Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
