Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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