I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
