I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
