Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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