I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
