after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
