I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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