We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
