I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I AM VODKA MAN
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
