Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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