I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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