he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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