capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
