Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
