He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
