I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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