Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
