Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
This house was built for laser tag.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
