as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
