But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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