Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She told me I should be a condom model.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize