I hate your face
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
