We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
