I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
