After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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