What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
