I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He felt like a one man threesome
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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