good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
