"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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