Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Your cock deserves a montage
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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