Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
