Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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