i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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