Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
