why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Everclear isn't food dammit
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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