hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
