would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
