11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
