i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
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