Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
