Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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