I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You pole danced in your parka.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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