i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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