Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
