I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
