Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
how drunk are you?
Several
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
