Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I am available for nakedness
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize