do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
