How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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